Can you believe that we are in the midst of the HOLIDAY SEASON already? We are in countdown mode for Christmas and New Year’s AND FOR MANY OF US THAT MEANS FAMILY TIME! When family gets together and all of our issues converge over dinner and drinks, IT’S ON!

Growing up in Connecticut as a little girl, Christmas was the “truce day” in my home. It was the ONLY day and time of the year—I promise you—that I can remember that HELL didn’t ensue between my parents! I can still remember the good feelings that came on Christmas Day as we opened gifts BUT HONEY, the other 364 days, it was a living nightmare!

I wonder now, especially as I’ve gotten older and have reflected, should I have said something? That would have been an awkward conversation! But growing up with a one-day truce at Christmas DID NOT make for a healthy, emotional, stable family life!

Family is a trip! And it can be downright stressful trying to figure out what’s best for YOU during the holidays.

Let’s start with all the potential arguments: Who’s family are you going to spend the holiday’s with—his or hers or neither? I’m having that discussion RIGHT NOW in my home!! Who gets invited to Christmas dinner? Who can you tolerate??

In my family, the holidays have always been a time of reflection…and for many of us, when family gets together and there are UNRESOLVED CHILDHOOD ISSUES…baby, it’s on! Who did Momma love more? Who got over in the family? Who did WHAT to who? YES, we love our families, but around the holidays things can get rough!

I know what we want …we want our FAMILIES together for love, for celebration, for Kodak moments, Facebook and TUMBLR pics at least! But for far too many of us, the holidays are more like FAMILY FEUD…Auntie wants to bring up what was done to her twenty-years ago…the drunk Uncle who always puts on a show …then there are the people who M.I.A. from the family dinner table this year who were there last year because of divorce, cheating…whatever. Between the baby-momma—daddy drama, the blended family drama, the family feuds, and awkward conversations…between the holiday feasts and fights…what in the world should we do about HOLIDAY FAMILY DRAMA?

Here’s what I’m suggesting that we think about doing to handle our HOLIDAY FAMILY DRAMA:

#1 DEVELOP TEFLON SKIN! It can’t stick to you if you don’t allow it. Honey if you’re waiting for negative relatives to validate you, you’re in for a mighty long wait! Don’t set yourself up…develop a Teflon coating emotionally so that their drama slides off!

#2 STAY OFF THE FAMILY GRAPE-VINE!! Mind your business! The only reason negative people care about what you’re up to is because they want something to talk about on the family grapevine. By keeping your business to yourself you may thwart some of the drama before it can get started…

And #3 STAY NEUTRAL! If miss thang walks into the house and you quickly get up and leave the room or roll your eyes or suck your teeth or blow real hard…you’re asking for a fight! Try to keep your eyes, hands, feet and mouth in line…become SWITZERLAND and STAY NEUTRAL…if you don’t have something positive to say, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!

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